Tag Archives: stress relief

The Relaxed State

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Sorry, I was such a downer in my last post! I hope that I did not scare you! It is not all about fear and stress and sharks. Another state we can enter is called the relaxed state, where our heart rate and muscle tone are normal and we are creative and hopeful. This is the state where we would like to spend most of our time, but it is not always practical. As I said in my last post, we need those stress states so we can get away from the neighbor’s dog or get that document filed.

Polyvagal Theory

Polyvagal theory describes our autonomic nervous system and how it regulates our health and behavior. Below is a chart that explains the different nervous system states and some of the hybrid states that we need on occasion:

Isn’t it nice to know that we are not always in a fear/stress state? Whew! This theory uses gentler words than the ones I used in my last post. It also explains that our emotions in these states will be different depending on whether we feel safe. In the mobilized state, for example, if we feel safe, we will feel energetic and motivated. If we are feeling unsafe, we experience the “fight or flight” response and can be anxious and stressed. So we can be mobilized at work if we feel safe, without feeling anxious and fearful. Nice!

In the immobilized state, as you can see, if we feel safe, we can feel blissful and dreamy. If we are feeling unsafe, like in the freeze response, we may feel depressed or hopeless.

The fawn response is noticeably missing from this diagram. The Polyvagal Institute explains that it is still being researched and developed and therefore did not make the chart. If you would like more information about the polyvagal theory, please check it out here: https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory

Another Perspective

Dr. Dan Siegal, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, came up with the concept of the Window of Tolerance. In this window, you can learn new things, work at your best, and relate well with others. You might occasionally go out of this tolerance in emergency situations, but you are highly regulated and can bring yourself back into that window where you function at your best.

As mentioned earlier, some of these symptoms of dysregulation can be helpful to get emergencies done or thrive in your career. As you can see from the photo, it is natural and effective to sometimes be in these arousal states. However, hanging out in these aroused states on either side is not good for your mental or physical health. Here is a great article about the window of tolerance: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-the-whole-beautiful/202205/what-is-the-window-of-tolerance-and-why-is-it-so-important

Good News

I don’t know about you, but it feels good to me that we do not have to live/work in a constant state of fear and stress to get the work done. You can see the similarities of these two theories: one says that we can get things done in the relaxed state, and the other says that we can get our best work done in the Window of Tolerance. They both say that we need these other states to survive, but we should not spend too much time there as it is not good for our mental or physical health.

So how do we get to these optimum states?

AWARENESS AND PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE

Here are some ways you can apply Polyvagal Theory to your life and live in the relaxed state more often:

  • Recognize your physiological reaction to stress. Is your heart pounding? Do you sweat? Do you go into freeze mode and cannot speak?
  • Practice self-regulation. When you are feeling stressed, find ways to help you regulate. Not to self-promote, but I did a post on deep breathing. This is one of the ways you can self-regulate when you are feeling stress.
  • Build social connections. People help us reduce stress? Don’t they cause us stress? Positive social connections can help soothe our nervous system. Call a friend or loved one when you are feeling stressed to help you calm down.
  • Identify triggers. Pay attention to who or what causes you to have a stress reaction. With this awareness, you can prepare for future interactions that might help you reduce the stress response.
  • Seek professional support. If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or burned out most of the time, it would help you to find someone to talk to, either a coach or therapist, who can help you identify your triggers and physiological reactions to stress and how to manage them.

Next time I will talk about awareness. I believe it is the key to making positive changes in your life.

Do you know how to breathe?

“Of course! I’ve been doing it all my life!” We breathe automatically (thank goodness) and can control our breath, but I suggest that you may not breathe efficiently, and your brain, heart, and lungs need more oxygen. Why am I bringing this up in a blog about law firms and stress? BECAUSE one of the ways that you can reduce stress and therefore overwhelm and burnout is by changing your breathing.

The benefits of deep breathing (according to the American Heart Association):

  • Stress and anxiety reduction: Deep breathing initiates the parasympathetic nervous system, which triggers the rest response.
  • Improved focus and cognitive function: Wouldn’t that be nice at work?
  • Better sleep: Wake up refreshed before you go to work.
  • Lowered blood pressure and heart rate: A wonderful long-term health benefit.
  • Improved digestion: Fewer tummy aches.
  • Increased immunity: More oxygen to the body means less illness.
  • Muscle relaxation: Less tension and pain.
  • More energy: Another benefit of having more oxygen flowing through your system.

A brief test

To determine how you breathe, place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly. Now take a deep breath. Does the hand on your chest rise, or does the hand on your belly rise? Test over.

Before I explain how to breathe with your belly, let me tell you the story of how I learned this technique.

Post-exercise panic attack

Once upon a time, I was trying out a new gym. I had not worked out in a while, but I was motivated. I don’t remember my exact age, but I was in my late 40s. I took a step class and I was feeling good. I got this! I was stepping up and down like a pro.

After the stepping part ended, the instructor asked us to lie on the floor and do some floor exercises. I obediently lay on the floor, but my heart was still beating very fast and was not slowing down. I was still breathing rapidly. It was not stopping! I decided it might be good to walk around. I was not ready to stop abruptly. I walked around the edge of the class, but it was not helping. My instructor noticed and became concerned.

Then some weird things started happening. My hands and fingers went numb and started turning into old witch hands, and I couldn’t move them. My face went numb. I was panicking now. I went out of the classroom and sat down, but my heart and breathing were still very rapid. I lay on the floor in the lobby (embarrassing), and then someone asked if there was a doctor in the house. The doctor seemed to know what was occurring immediately. He told me to take some deep breaths. He told me that the numbness was temporary and asked me if I wanted to call an ambulance. I remember thinking that he wasn’t taking me seriously and saying, “Of course I do, my face is numb!”

They called an ambulance, and I went to the ER. After hanging out in there for hours without a doctor’s visit (I guess I wasn’t much of an emergency), they told me I had a post-exercise panic attack that was triggered by a lack of oxygen to my appendages. They did not prescribe any medication but said I should consider an anti-anxiety medication. The doctor said to take it more slowly next time when I exercise, and I will be fine.

What? That’s it? My face and fingers went numb! I could not believe they were so casual about it. I admit that it was difficult for me to exercise at the same gym again, and I managed to cancel my membership before my contract year was up—a miracle.

If I knew how to breathe correctly, this would not have happened.

The cure?

A couple of years later, I went to a chiropractor for an unrelated injury. After manipulating my neck in strange ways, he asked me about my breathing. He said that I was breathing incorrectly, only from my chest. He said that I needed to breathe with my belly. I thought he was crazy. I’ve been breathing all of my life, thank you very much. He told me when we also expand our bellies when we breathe, we bring in more air and oxygen. Then he showed me how. I learned how to breathe again.

After that appointment, I practiced breathing using my belly. It changed my life. The benefits mentioned at the beginning of the post are true!

Back to learning how to breathe

When you are stressed, you might find that you are breathing mostly from your lungs and your breath might also be shallow. You might even be hyperventilating. Simply learning to breathe from your belly can help you bring more air into your lungs and therefore reduce stress. Don’t be a chest breather!

My theory is that part of the problem is we humans like to suck in our bellies to appear thinner and expanding them does not feel right. It is difficult to overcome this habit, but once you do, the health benefits will overcome the need to look skinny.

Like the test, put one hand on your belly and one on your chest and take a breath. Do you feel your belly expand, or is it just your chest that expands? Now intentionally try to take a breath and expand your belly, “filling it with air.” I know you are not really filling your belly with air, but by expanding your belly, you are giving your lungs more capacity. Keep trying. It does take practice. Your hand should be moving up and down with your belly. Trust me, the more you practice, the less you will worry about how your belly looks and the more you will like the experience of having more air in your lungs.

Next time you are at your desk feeling stressed, take 3 deep breaths using your belly and see how that feels. Focus on your breathing and not any other thoughts in your head.

Other times to use it

Take 3 deep breaths using your belly before you go into a meeting with your boss, a client, a deposition, or a court hearing. Take deep breaths before you go on a first date, meet with your child’s teacher, or are stuck in a traffic jam and are late. Your brain will appreciate the extra oxygen which will help you calm down. Try it!

Box Breathing

If you have more time and privacy, box breathing is recommended. WebMD does a good job of describing the technique:

  • Step 1: Breathe in, counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs.
  • Step 2: Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Try to avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds.
  • Step 3: Slowly exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.
  • Step 4: Wait for another 4 seconds before you breathe in again. 

Stress Relief

We will talk more about the body’s reaction to stress in future posts, but I wanted to give you a quick way to relieve stress before we go into more detail. If you practice deep breathing regularly, not just daily, but throughout your day, you will experience the benefits.